Behind These Hazel Eyes
by miarae
Summary: [ONEPARTER] Behind these hazel eyes lies a world of pain. How can you hurt me like this when we were supposed to be “meant to be”? HermioneRon futurefic. Sort of like a letter.


**Title:** Behind These Hazel Eyes

**Summary: **Behind these hazel eyes lies a world of pain. How can you hurt me like this when we were supposed to be "meant to be"?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the song (which is written by Kelly Clarkson) or HP.

**A/N: **Please read my other oneparter "Simple". It's rumoured to be one of my best stories.

**A/N2:****This is sort of like a letter, written to Ron after he left. Futurefic.**

* * *

Behind these hazel eyes lies a world of pain. How can you hurt me like this when we were supposed to be "meant to be"? How can you Ron? Everybody has always thought we would end up together. And we did. Weren't we happy? Was I not good enough for you? Maybe you finally realised that being with me wasn't all it's cracked up to be. I know I'm difficult Ronald Weasley, but I was willing to change. I thought we would work things out. I thought we could be okay. We could make it work.

_Seems like just yesterday_

_You were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall_

_I used to be so strong_

_Your arms around me tight_

_Everything felt so right_

_Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong_

_Now I can't breathe_

_No I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on_

You made me better in so many ways. You made me relax. I could let go of things I was formerly obsessed over. You helped me achieve my goals. I thought I did the same for you. I thought what we had was good. We had a home, a family, and you threw it away. Was it too boring for you? Did you miss the adventures we used to have at Hogwarts? Did you regret staying with me when I was pregnant, instead of following Harry into battle? Do you blame me? Is that it?

_Here I am_

_Once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny_

_Can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I've cried_

_Behind these hazel eyes_

I'm silent now. I work and I take care of the kids. Kids, Ronald! You left them, even more than me! You left me and I'm not even allowed to cry because I have to be strong. They can't see their mother breaking down. They have already lost their father. When I'm alone, at night when the kids are sleeping soundly, I sometimes cry. A few sobs, that's all I allow myself. I can't cry over you. You're not worth it.

_I told you everything_

_Opened up and let you in_

_You made me feel alright_

_For once in my life_

But that's just it. You were. You are. I've always loved you. For so many qualities you yourself didn't even see. I loved you. I still do. I think. Part of me does. Part of me still wishes for you to come back though I would probably scream and throw plates at you if you dared to show up. If you would only tell me **why**. So I could move on. So I would know what to change. If it really was me to begin with. Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe it was just you. Us. Not being meant to be.

_Now all that's left on me_

_Is what I pretend to be_

_Sewed together with what's broken up inside_

_Cause I can't breathe_

_No I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on_

They are asking for you Ron. Asking when their daddy is coming back. I know how they look at me. They think I chased you away. They feel the need to blame someone because they can't believe their daddy just got up one day and decided to leave them behind. They need you Ron. They need their daddy to tell them it's not their fault. How can I tell them that when I don't even know whose fault it is? Why you did it? I am trying to be strong for them Ron, but it breaks my heart every time they ask for you. Every time the doorbell rings and their eyes just light up, only to dull once more. It really breaks my heart. I wonder, if you could see them, see the way they hug me, scared that I'll be leaving too...I wonder if it would be enough. I wonder if it would make you come back.

_Swallow me and spit me out_

_For hating you I blame myself_

_Seeing you it kills me now_

_No I don't cry on the outside_

_ANYMORE!_

_anymore_

I wish you would. Come back. Even if it was just for them. You don't need to come back for me anymore. I don't want you to come back when you threw me aside like junk. And part of me hates you, hates you like I thought I couldn't hate anybody but Voldemort. I hate you for what you did to them. To your children. I hate you for what you made me become. I'm empty nowadays. I can't be truly happy when our daughter gets a good mark or when our baby son smiles at me. I register things, but they don't reach my heart. You broke it.

_Here I am_

_Once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny_

_Can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cried_

_Behind these hazel eyes_

And still I love you. I love the man you were before you ran away. I love the hope that still lingers in my heart, providing just enough strength to go on. I love how our kids take after you, because you will never have truly left me. I love you Ronald Weasley, but it obviously wasn't enough.

All my love,

Hermione Weasley.

**Review please!**


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